As you can see, already using the language, or trying to. BANGKOK - what can we say? Well:

WEATHER - very hot, humid, keeps breaking out into spells of rain. Fans and air-con are an absolute must. Heat makes it hard to do anything or make any decisions, or even be bothered to do anything - and its only a matter of time until you sweat, sweat and sweat some more.

FOOD - unbelievably good, when we eat (too hot to be hungry!). Curry, noodle and rice dishes are taking the tastebuds on a rollercoaster ride - fantastic. Elephants have been out in the streets outside our restaurants on the first two nights - slightly bizarre.

TRANSPORT - Thai driving has to be seen to be believed, its like a redefinition of a free-for-all - imagine a combination of all the driving games you've ever seen in the amusement arcades. Traffic jams here put those in central London to shame, but oddly there's no road rage. Literally billions of motorbikes and mopeds swarm around the streets - so far we've braved cars, taxis, tuk-tuk, bus, even water taxi, but we're stopping shy of the motorbike taxis (not that desperate to experience EVERYTHING!)

SMELLS - they love 'em. Nearly passed out due to overwhelming eucalyptus air-freshener in restaurant toilets - completely cleaned out the sinuses for a year, but suppose it makes a change for the better. Went to Chatuchak weekend market - mad mixture of stinks... dried fish seems to be a speciality over here!

SIGHTS - done the touristy things like ornate palaces (Grand Palace), seen the biggest gold buddha EVER (hence his self-satisfied smile), and generally jostled with loads of other ruthless photo-takers. Plus done the standard nocturnal fare in Pat Pong (red light district) at the Super Pussy. A memorable night for two main reasons - some glamorous he-shes with washboard stomachs, no hips and the urge to constantly scratch their groins; and balloon-popping fanny blowpipes - say no more! Plus a few bars, which were great (and not smutty)!

HOME - we've just moved into My House hostel off the Khao San Rd, which is basic but clean (shouldn't complain for £2.50 per night).

That's pretty much it so far - looking forward to meeting Sare from the airport in a couple of hours (she flies in from Oz), and hopefully then whisking her away for a few days to Koh Samet (small island, 5 hrs from Bangkok), whilst our visas for Vietnam are being processed.